Blessed but Aware

I am blessed. I’m blessed for many reasons, but the one that is soon to come is I’ve been asked to host a workshop for an educational conference in Toronto, presented by my union, OECTA.

My presentation is on Equity in Education, on being a woman in the education field and the gender biases we face, the lack of collaboration, and the unintentional gender biases we place upon our female students. This presentation is more for staff members to be more aware of their thoughts and their actions so to create impact-ful change for women as a whole.

But I recognize this: Change comes from within [the classroom]… not from standing on a stage.

In this digital day and age, everyone is a prophet. Everyone has something to say and everyone believes it to be of value. Everyone wants to shoot up their follows on Twitter and everyone wants to have their moment in the spotlight. They attribute standing on a stage and telling a few, or hundreds, or thousands how to be as success. 

In the field of education, that, to me, is not success.

Firstly, everyone, excited by a meaningful presentation full of anecdotes, quotes – likely formulated by rewording someone else’s thoughts – and funny stories, leaves a presentation feeling invigorated. Now, that time you spent listening to an adult tell you how your classroom should be could have been spent asking a child how they would like their classroom to be. That should be what truly invigorates you.

Secondly, educators speaking on stages around the world are going on, telling people how to make it for and about the students, but the students are not the ones on stage. Those adults stand tall, get the tweets and retweets, gather the social media fame, and have made it about them. Plain and simple. People don’t retweet and praise the accomplishments of students and their ideas, they continue to praise the ideas of other adults, many of whom haven’t spent a full day in their own classroom in a long, long time.

So, what’s the deal? We are blind, in this digital age, by social media fame and refuse to recognize these new born prophets as anything but a waste of time and energy. They are great! They are holy! Don’t question where their ideas come from, don’t question if they’ve spent time speaking to students about change, don’t question them, the great prophets of now.

A friend of mine, Paul Gorski, once said that if it’s good equity work – whether social, educational, gender, etc – it will make you uncomfortable. All these smiling selfies and excited tweets don’t scream good work, they scream facade, charade, and self-righteousness. If we are still talking about change, maybe we should question where these ideas of change are coming from.

Mental Health Awareness

I am the leader of the Mental Health Committee at my school and have started putting together Mental Health Awareness newsletters for each month.

Please take the time to read December’s newsletter as it may just apply to you and your own life.

Mental Health December Newsletter

Pets are not Presents

Anyone who knows me knows I am a passionate animal lover, saving mice from the hallways of my work, bunnies from abandoned nests, and birds with injured wings. They also know I am an advocate for animal adoption whether it be for a puppy, kitten, dog, cat, bird, bunny, guinea pig or more. But one thing I am not an advocate for is giving someone  you love an animal as a gift for the Holidays.

Owning an animal is not a walk in the park; take it from me, owner of two dogs, a cat and a bird. Animals are living, breathing things with emotions and needs. They are not a disposable object like a doll off a WalMart shelf. Getting an animal is a process that should be thought out and considered by all members of a family.

By giving an animal as a gift, you are immediately associating the animal with something that is as temporary and disposable as a Christmas Fruitcake. You are not allowing the individual you are getting the animal for consider the animal that is best for them (all owners should meet and interact with an animal prior to owning it because compatibility is not something you can force) and putting a financial burden on them against their will.

Owning animals is a stressful thing and by no means a clean and easy one. By gifting an animal, you are forcing an individual into a stressful situation that they did not agree to (despite the excitement they might have in the moment which blurs the reality of animal ownership).

Often, after the initial excitement of receiving the animal, the accidents, the cleaning of cages and the expenses of vet visits often shakes people up, and the stress becomes too much to handle. Sometimes, it just ends up being that the animal and the individual simply aren’t compatible; maybe they are too high energy for their busy lifestyle, perhaps there are unexpected allergies, or maybe they simply don’t have the time to spend with it. There are many factors that could mess up a parent-animal relationship, and giving a pet as a present increases those chances.

So many animals who end up in a shelter were a “gift” gone wrong. So many people give pets as gifts without truly recognizing the responsibility, the time, the money, and the potential chaos that comes with pet ownership. Some people receive these gifts with love and excitement, only to find that it is way too much to handle or simply doesn’t work for them.

Yes, the thought of a fuzzy animal sitting by your Holiday fire is a warm and beautiful thought, and one that certainly increases adoption and sales of animals, but it’s not one that truly puts the pet first, as all animals should be in these situations. So if you’re considering adding an animal to the family (and I definitely suggest adoption; you can ask me more about this if you have questions about it), wait for the “holiday shopping rush” mindset to fade, discuss it as a family or with the individual who you think might be interested, and go together to meet the animal, weigh the options, consider the financial and stress impact, and then make a decision. Pets are live, pets are precious, pets should not be presents.

I am lucky to be the girlfriend of an amazing man

My boyfriend is amazing, and here is why:

” Jesse Horvath shared a link.

An important read. Ignore my long status and read the article, he says it better than I could. I just feel like commenting on what I read. 

I’m sure everyone’s Facebook pages are littered with statuses, and articles, and news stories about Elliot Rodger but a very small percentage of them are paying attention to the important elements of the story. Perhaps Elliot Rodger required psychological help. Maybe he needed (and was receiving) therapy and medication to treat some mental disorders of his. But saying that this is the reason why he chose to kill is to avoid the more pressing matter which is his ideology surrounding women, sex, and love: an ideology that happens to be maintained by mass media and popular culture. 

Movies, T.V. shows, and video games teach young men that no matter their strengths or weaknesses, appearance or personality, if they work hard enough they WILL get the girl of their dreams. GETTING the girl implies that she is an object to pursue, a thing to win, where if you make the right moves in the right order, you will receive your prize. This is the mentality that plagued the mind of Elliot Rodger. He believed that he had done everything right and fit the mold of someone who deserved these women’s love, attention, and of course their bodies. The men who read into this way of thinking, the ones who have saved princess Peach from Bowser countless times, the ones who watched Jonah Hill win over Emma Stone, the ones who hate the jocks at their schools for leading the lives they wish they could, are not bad people. I repeat, very few of these men are bloodthirsty, dangerous men. But they are people who have become trapped in a misguided way of thinking because their entire lives have been spent watching guys win the girl. And it is this seemingly innocuous way of thinking that leads to some extremely harmful behaviours. This can be seen all the time from men who get angry at a girl for turning him down and start calling her offensive names, and think that it is acceptable to do so or with books like “The Game” that teach men how to trick women into going home with them. The support that Elliot Rodger has received from some men online is proof enough that there are men who share in his ideology and who believe that his actions could have been prevented had some of these women gave in to Elliot. 

This has to stop. This generation of men has to understand that we are not the protagonists of these stories who need only work hard enough to earn the girl. She is not ours to win. Elliot Rodger was a sick man who chose to express his ideology in the worst way possible. It is rare and it is terrifying but his way of thinking and his reasoning behind it is NOT rare and that is what this generation is poised to take responsibility for, but also to combat. 

I will delete any debating that happens in the comments of this post. You have a right to disagree with me and offer your rebuttal on your page, but I don’t want this post to become a place for debate. I want people to read the article and to learn this perspective.” 

 

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. I am dating a humble human being who absolutely respects women.

I have dated many men with the mentality that Jesse mentions above, that the article mentions; they believe that they deserve the perfect woman, that they are worth being adored, that any woman who doesn’t want to be with them, idle them, worship them, treat them like they’re a god is absolute fool, that women who don’t recognize their personal greatness are worthless, that women are objects to be used for personal gain, fame or pleasure, that every man I dated before them was a piece of crap, was nothing compared to them, etc. Jesse is right when he says that so many men have been fed this idea all their lives from everything that surrounds them; media, games, internet, “self-help” books, therapists, etc.

I am so grateful that I have a man in my life who not only respects me but all women; his sisters, his mother, his aunt, his professors, the woman he crossed on the street, the woman who helped him at the store the other day, the women he dated before me, his classmates, etc… He does not have a guise. He is the definition of a perfect gentleman, and he is spreading the word about what it means to be a knight to losers everywhere.

Thank you to the heavens for this amazing individual, my very best friend, and one hell of a real man.

XO

The Fill

Sometimes I post private blog posts so that I don’t forget moments and what I was feeling in a specific place at a specific time.
That is the beauty and the horror of the internet; it is the first time in life where all our memories are ordered, usually chronologically, and ready to be relived, reflected upon, perhaps ready to ignite happiness once more or to inflame sadness one thought they had been rid of. I don’t know how I feel about it. I don’t know whether I preferred the days where my memories were stored in my heart or if I prefer these days where I can drown myself in it all, all over again.

 

Much Love,
Claudia mendola

It’s been a while

I haven’t had anxiety in a long time. I do, tonight! It is unexplained, it has no catalyst, it has no source. But it is making my heart race, my breathing short, and my insomnia grow.

All I want to do is sleep but all my body wants to do is deny it from me. And I have no reason as to why this started so I have no way of figuring out how to end it! One moment life is sweet, beautiful, bright… the next, my heart is at it like a jackhammer. What is this craziness!?

HALP! I NEEDS IT!
Much Love,
Claudia Amendola

circles

Everything in my life seems to go full circle. I feel like a bird (“If you’re a bird, I’m a bird.”). I may migrate when my surroundings aren’t to my liking, but I always return to my home, to where I belong. I begin my life in one place, I change as everything around me changes, but in time I return to where I am meant to be.

 

I was born at McMaster, I returned to McMaster for schooling.
I lived in the Hamilton area as a young child, I return here for my first place on my own as an adult.
I was inspired, at St. Luke’s school, by my grade two teacher to become an educator and I return to the school as a substitute in her class.

These are just a few examples and others are far more private, but I truly feel like I am flying, constantly soaring, gliding to where I am meant to be. And that place always happens to be where it all began.
Much Love,
Claudia Amendola

happiness is a warm gun (bang bang, shoot shoot)

when i hold you in my arms

and i feel my finger on your trigger

don’t you know that no body can do me no harm because…

 

happiness is a warm (yes it is) gunnnnnn!

 

With Love,
Claudia Amendola

A reflection on sadness

My inability to comfortably cry in front of other people makes me feel like a robot. Biting my lip until it bleeds is a sweeter pain than the burn of salty tears running down my cheeks.

Sadness is a pain I don’t want to feel. It hurts me more to relish in it and let it take over than to hide it away. Happiness takes work but it is worth all the time and effort, all the exhaustion. It is not merely a mask to cover the boxed up sadness from before, it is honest happiness. It is finding all the good things, the positive things about a situation which then allows you to box that sadness. It is finding personal greatness in tough situations and using it to erase the dark spots. It’s a taste of sweetness for every bitter bit in one’s life. It is real happiness because it is conquering the sadness, sending it home.

These are just thoughts. I am happy as can be.

Much Love,
Claudia Amendola

Food for the Soul

It’s been a while.

No, this will not be a post about not having posted in a while. I’ve done too many of those. My apologies are moot at this point. But we can all safely say that my attempts to make this a daily occurrence have gone out the window with the arrival of school. With school comes job searching, with job searching comes little to no time to write. I have 15 second intervals between my searches, and that makes for a lot of interrupted writing. So I simply don’t bother.

With the weather getting cooler, with the surroundings altering to suit the season, with Autumn grabbing Summer by the waist and dancing with her slowly, gracefully, smoothly, I begin to notice how I too must change with the seasons. My Summer was fast-paced, busy, eventful, memorable, full of change and happiness, and now my Fall is beginning with a different kind of busy and fast-pace, one that could quickly cause exhaustion if one does not remember to stop and breathe. I have noticed some change in myself (as an individual), as well. Summer had me open, out, about and continuously seeking out time to spend with friends. Autumn has me finding solace in solitude with warm drinks and good books, video games for hours on end, movie watching under warm blankets. I do love Autumn with all its wonder and it’s beauty, but the thought of staying in, cozy, warm, and inspired on a cool and windy September day is just as exciting as a Summer day out and about. The rewards I get in happiness are one in the same, too.

I don’t have much of anything else to say. While inspired, the inspiration comes at times of the night where access to a computer would require me getting out of bed (and that is never something one enjoys doing when the maximum comfort level has been achieved!). I should keep pen and paper near my bed or record my thoughts, but I wonder if they come to me to be shared, blabbed on about, or simply to ponder by my lonesome. Sometimes I feel as though the soul is inspired for various reasons and goes about creating and contemplating in various ways simply for its personal growth rather than sharing. Sometimes food for one soul can be poison to another. Sometimes it is just fine to think, reflect, learn and push away, making room for a meal that can be better shared.

Much Love,
Claudia Amendola