by Cloud @ lifeofcloud.net
Manipulation is not a form of true control. It is an illusion that falls away to reveal resentment and, ultimately, failure.
This is what I thought to myself when reading the plot synopsis of a book a friend recommended me; Why Men Marry B*tches. The book is basically an instruction manual for woman on how to be “in control” of the relationship, how to make him think about you all the time rather than the other way around, how to convince the man that commitment was his decision, how get the man to marry you, etc. Just reading the synopsis and the reviews made me pretty sick to my stomach to think that people make money off of books on how to manipulate others.
What happens when the person who is being manipulated comes to their senses? Resentment is inevitable and then where has your control disappeared to? When the person is disgusted enough to step out of the situation and re-evaluate how to gain back their own self-respect and control, ultimately, your goal to control them has failed.
The same can be said in education, especially when trying to manipulate students into doing what you want them to do, whether through prizes when they “behave properly” or giving false belief to a child into thinking that they made the decision themselves when it was you who lead them there… Children are wise and can see passed the guises of manipulation often quicker than adults do. Do you want to be that teacher who has a classroom full of students resenting him/her because of their approach to manage the space? It’s not worth the risk, it is not worth the respect that is lost, it is not worth picking up the pieces after it all falls apart.
In the end, my point is simple, manipulation is negative, hurtful, selfish and it is not the manner in which one should resort in order to control their lives or any kind of situation. There are other means out there that might take more work but they are more genuine, respectable, and longer lasting in their success.
Stay positive, stay loving, stay optimistic!